In our educational consulting practice, we often speak with parents who are worried about how to best prepare their young child for a bright future. Not surprisingly, many feel overwhelmed when they overhear other parents discussing the numerous classes and activities their children participate in and feel as if they have somehow fallen behind. Many parents then feel compelled to enroll their own child in a myriad of activities across every possible area of interest, hoping to secure an early competitive advantage. Too often, however, children are enrolled in classes with little regard for building real curiosity. They are kept busy, entertained, and socialized, but not necessarily given the time to observe, explore, formulate ideas, and ask questions.
After 30+ years of experience in high school and college admissions advising, we know that there is a clear connection between “early preparation” and success in the college admissions process. Fortunately, we also know that good preparation can and should take many different forms, depending on your child’s age, skills, interests, and abilities. The goal is to build curiosity and a love of learning. After all, success in the college admissions process requires much more than just strong grades and test scores. University admissions officers look for a demonstrated passion for learning, the ability and willingness to contribute to their ideas and perspective, and the grit and confidence to make things happen not just for oneself but for others as well. It is the development of these skills that indicates that students actually possess the intellectual curiosity and thinking skills to fully engage with and contribute to their college communities.
Ah Ha, Parents! The classes your children enroll in are a conduit for broader learning. Learning and exploration guided by parents is equally likely to inspire intellectual promise and set your child up for success in the college admissions process. Even before children enter kindergarten, they are learning all about what is important in life from you. Yes, parents, you are essential to your child’s “early and sustained preparation for college and for life.
In addition to listening, young children watch what their parents do and try to emulate them. If a parent enjoys reading, it is likely that their child will also develop a love for reading. When parents read to their child, they spark curiosity and build a lifelong love of reading. When parents find the world interesting and share their experiences with their child, the child is more likely to explore and seek answers.
So what can you do with your child to cultivate not only academic success, but also the more intangible skills like curiosity, critical thinking, and a love of learning that will allow them to really shine in life (and coincidentally also in the college admissions process)?
- Start early. Preparation is best begun when children are small and still think parents are the smartest, best people in the world. Good habits taught even before kindergarten and consistently maintained through childhood will become automatic by the time a student enters high school, thus eliminating or mitigating some serious stumbling blocks.
- Cultivate curiosity. Children are naturally curious about the world and ask a lot of questions. Parents can best support curiosity by taking the time to thoughtfully answer their questions. If you don’t know the answer, use their questions as an opportunity to teach how to find answers. Go to your local library, find an age-appropriate book, use online resources, or listen to a podcast together. Enjoy finding the answer and discussing what you learned together with your child. Your commitment to learning will teach your child that their questions are important and worth asking. It is in these moments that the passion for learning is cultivated. If your child expresses a particular like or dislike for a subject or a teacher, ask why and encourage them to express their thoughts. By doing this, you teach them that their opinions matter and encourage the development of vital communication skills.
- Read. Reading with your child goes much deeper than the words on the page. It is through reading that children learn about themselves, others, and the world around them. Buy or borrow age-appropriate books. Discuss the characters, the conflicts, what they feel, and how you feel about the situation. Discuss nature, the environment, and anything else your child finds interesting. The goal is to get them reading and thinking. This is also a good time to assist with pronunciation, grammar, sentence structure, comprehension, vocabulary, and critical thinking. Younger children love picture books. Don’t shun them in favor of more “impressive” books. Children learn a lot by using their imagination – let them describe what is happening in the story and what the characters are doing.
- Play games. Children learn through play. Play card games and word games like Scrabble, Boggle, and Contact! Play math games at the grocery store, encouraging your children to calculate the cost of your purchases in their heads. Learning is fun, especially when parents play along.
- Let them help you. Kids learn best by doing. Let your children choose the meal, then help them buy the ingredients at the store. Let them help you make cookies (there is no better way to learn fractions). You can also give them chores such as taking out the garbage or folding laundry. Work makes children feel valued. In these simple tasks, your children develop essential life skills and the self-confidence that comes with taking on responsibilities.
- Allow them to experience the natural consequences of their behavior. Children need to learn that some actions have undesirable results. Protecting them from the realities of their behaviors only postpones the inevitable. Allowing them to experience microfailures will teach responsibility better than all the lectures in the world. Don’t do their homework, don’t let the tutor do their homework, and don’t make excuses for them if the homework doesn’t get done. These compensating behaviors will lead to larger failures later.
- Build good study habits. Good study habits begin as soon as homework does. Teach your child to start their homework as soon as they return home from school. Start with the more challenging subjects, as children are more alert earlier in the day.
- Teach technology as a tool: iPhones and Androids have calendars, reminders, alarm clocks, and a myriad of useful apps, such as dictionaries, thesauruses, and even speed-reading practice. Teach your children how to use technology effectively and establish limits that promote responsible use.
- Spend time with them. Most children are not blind. They can see that parents are busy and have multiple priorities. Consistently carving out uninterrupted time to spend together (without blinking phones and computers) will not only model good control over electronic interruptions but will also clearly show them that they are important to you. This knowledge is a crucial factor in a child’s development of self-esteem. Consider using mealtime to gather as a family and discuss the day’s activities. Give equal time to each family member to contribute their thoughts and observations to the conversation.
Feeding your child’s curiosity and developing their love of learning are best done when they are young, and their imaginations are not yet tempered by realism. Your influence is strongest when children still believe their parents to be the best and brightest people in the world. By the time students reach high school, they have already developed a sense of themselves and begin believing they are smarter than their parents. So parents, seize the day! Whether your child is in kindergarten or has yet to begin school, it is never too early to start shaping your child for success!
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